Wednesday, February 20, 2008

just a quick note

Will has been going through withdrawal since Cheryl and Bus left very early on Sunday. He has struggled with going to sleep and has made several attempts to go into my room and stall. On Monday night, I confess though that he spoke in a way that touched my heart--I had a difficult time scolding him for getting out of bed. I was working on the computer when I heard a knock at my door. In walks Will and he says, Mommy, I'm hearing God speak to me.

Me: What did you say?
Will: I said speak Lord for I am hearing. (We had read the story of Samuel as a boy about 3 weeks ago)
Me: What did God say?
Will: He said Will, I love you.
Me: What did you say?
Will: I told God that I love Him too.

Words and spirit that touch my heart. I'm so thankful to have been entrusted by God to raise my son.

No news on the adoption front. I'm still waiting for my dossier to be submitted.........I've been praying that God would be especially near. The uncertainty is always hanging around in my mind.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Yes-It was valentine's day...

And where does the time go??? I've been enjoying having my sister and brother in law here since last Friday evening! Bus had a meeting here in Beaver Falls on Saturday, Feb. 9. Cheryl and Bus traveled here from CA with a mom, her daughter, and another girl from the Fresno RP congregation , who were interested in looking at the college. They left early on Tuesday morning and Cheryl and Bus are here until early Sunday morning. Cheryl and Bus have been playing and watching Will throughout the week, which has provided Will with all kinds of fun attention. All the Californians have endured the extreme cold of last weekend and the snow as well with good spirit! Will enjoyed "playing" guitar hero with Ash and Ryan's Wii. Looks like he has the moves!!!

Will and I went "sledding" for the first time on Tuesday late afternoon. The college was closed at 3 pm and we took advantage of "free" time to use the saucer sled. I wasn't sure if Will would enjoy sledding, but he certainly seemed to.

Because of added traffic at the house this week, Will has been very aware of Valentine's Day! I came home from work on Wednesday (the 13th) and he greeted me with a huge Valentine balloon. As soon as I walked through the door, he ran up to me saying "Happy Balentine's Day! Mommy, you are my Balentine! Do you love it?" Of course, I responded by giving Will a big hug and kiss assuring him that he is my valentine and that I love the balloon. He quickly ran to Uncle Bus and said "See I told you my mommy would tell me she loves it"

Will was thrilled with the candy and cards from Uncle Bus, Auntie, Megan and Paul, Grandpa and Grandma, and mommy. He also received a little bee that, when pressed, says You're my little love bug! He had to sleep with that bug last night. Will gave me a card he made and some candy (courtesy of Auntie!). I continue to learn about how to joy in giving as I live through Will's eyes! He is so happy and excited to give gifts!

As for news on the adoption front.....we're still in a holding pattern. I haven't heard anything from Dave Daulton since Feb 4. The next step is for my dossier to be submitted to the SDA in Kiev. I confess that it is difficult to wait----but, then my mind drifts to the numerous Psalms that use some aspect of the phrase---"Wait on the Lord"--I recognize that God has the whole timing and results in His hands, yet in my frailty, I can't help but cry out to the Lord to bring this adoption about with the "right" child.

Monday, February 4, 2008

My struggle with trust

Every birthday, my mom sends me a card with the reference--Proverbs 3:5,6--Trust in the Lord with your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Today has been a struggle for me in trusting FULLY in God and leaning not on my understanding. When I awoke this morning, the first prayer that came to my mind was to pray about the submission of my dossier to the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine. As I currently understand it, I am on a waiting list to have my dossier submitted, after which, my dossier is approved and then an appointment date is set. Even as I drove to work after dropping Will off at school, I struggled in prayer to God about His timing and my timing. I confessed my struggle and tried to give the timing of my appointment and trip to God wanting to believe that God is preparing the right child for our family.

I found at this afternoon that my dossier was not submitted. Dave wrote that he is following the process and may know better in a couple of weeks, but that there is a good chance that my dossier won't be submitted until March or April. In spite my prayers, I am really down about this situation. I confess that I so want to go to Ukraine, come home, and spend time bonding as a family without having to go to work. But........

Will and I made Valentine cookies before dinner--He loves to cook or bake! He seems to be feeling better today. After church yesterday, he seemed off and had a bit of a runny nose. I gave him some Motrin and I decided that he needed a nap--He didn't agree! Within three minutes of putting him in bed, he fell asleep and slept for 4 and a half hours! Needless to say, we didn't make it to evening church.

A couple of interesting "Willisms"--Saturday as we were walking home from the basket ball game, I was telling him that he needed to respond to people when they talk to him or ask him a question. This was in response to his lack of response to some people we were sitting by at the game--his respone--sometimes I'm just shy and I can't say anything--whatever!! The other interesting comment--as church was beginning yesterday morning, he had to go to the bathroom. When he hadn't returned after an appropriate amount of time, I went downstairs to check on him. He was standing outside of the bathroom. I asked him if he had gone to the bathroom--his response--I am waiting for all the girls to go out then I will go. At that moment, a little girl came out and he quickly ran into the stall assuring me that he could go by himself.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

new shoes......

It's Saturday----the end of another long week or at least a busy week! Will and I headed to Costco to pick up some goodies for the company we're expecting on Friday. But, of course, Will remembers today the one where he got "FIREMAN" tennis shoes! I thought it was time to get Will some new shoes.......

We went to the first half of Geneva's men's basket ball game--A tight game and Geneva was trailing at the half. Will was exhausted--so after a quick bath, he is tucked away in bed.

My friend, Lisa, has an "emergency" C-section on Sunday morning. Their son, Drake, has had several complications---so prayer has gone up for the little guy. He seems to being doing much better. I have been reminded of how each of us breathe as God so determines---our birth is so much part of God's grace. Ps. 139--He knew us in our mother's womb.....I think of how this connects to the child God is preparing to join our family. My thoughts are that this child is currently living in an orphanage and in God's timing we will all be brought together. But, like in Drake's birth, we need to be bathing that child in prayer now as well as for the rest of my life.

As I understand it, my dossier is scheduled to be submitted to the SDA on Monday, Feb. 4. This time is my metaphorical pregnancy that needs as much prayer as if I were physically carrying this child.