Monday, February 4, 2008

My struggle with trust

Every birthday, my mom sends me a card with the reference--Proverbs 3:5,6--Trust in the Lord with your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Today has been a struggle for me in trusting FULLY in God and leaning not on my understanding. When I awoke this morning, the first prayer that came to my mind was to pray about the submission of my dossier to the SDA in Kiev, Ukraine. As I currently understand it, I am on a waiting list to have my dossier submitted, after which, my dossier is approved and then an appointment date is set. Even as I drove to work after dropping Will off at school, I struggled in prayer to God about His timing and my timing. I confessed my struggle and tried to give the timing of my appointment and trip to God wanting to believe that God is preparing the right child for our family.

I found at this afternoon that my dossier was not submitted. Dave wrote that he is following the process and may know better in a couple of weeks, but that there is a good chance that my dossier won't be submitted until March or April. In spite my prayers, I am really down about this situation. I confess that I so want to go to Ukraine, come home, and spend time bonding as a family without having to go to work. But........

Will and I made Valentine cookies before dinner--He loves to cook or bake! He seems to be feeling better today. After church yesterday, he seemed off and had a bit of a runny nose. I gave him some Motrin and I decided that he needed a nap--He didn't agree! Within three minutes of putting him in bed, he fell asleep and slept for 4 and a half hours! Needless to say, we didn't make it to evening church.

A couple of interesting "Willisms"--Saturday as we were walking home from the basket ball game, I was telling him that he needed to respond to people when they talk to him or ask him a question. This was in response to his lack of response to some people we were sitting by at the game--his respone--sometimes I'm just shy and I can't say anything--whatever!! The other interesting comment--as church was beginning yesterday morning, he had to go to the bathroom. When he hadn't returned after an appropriate amount of time, I went downstairs to check on him. He was standing outside of the bathroom. I asked him if he had gone to the bathroom--his response--I am waiting for all the girls to go out then I will go. At that moment, a little girl came out and he quickly ran into the stall assuring me that he could go by himself.

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